Internet Kills.....

I've come to realize the majority of people are reliant on electronics such as the laptop or their cellphone. I am too. It's just crazy how everything can be done with just a click of a button swiftly and efficiently. But hiding behind all these techno stuff and quality, there's one major flaw. Lack of human interaction.

My meaning is that everyone is too busy to just stop and chat these days. What with the work and studies and such. The only time they can interact with their fellow friends is through internet softwares such as MSN or tweeter. It's just that whenever i chat with my friends on msn, i just don't feel it. What, you ask. I don't really know how to define it. The priceless look you get when you crack a joke. Those grand stories we tell seem to grow even more so when telling it personally. The reaction you get when you tell her you love her. Whether good or bad, it's just those little things that make our lives even more tastier. And we are actually choking them into extinction.

Even companies are using technology. Obviously they have to to survive but there's just one thing i'm peeved right now. Interviews are now done on the internet. Resumes have to be submitted through email. Again, this cuts the time to half instead of wasting precious time doing the interviews personally. Me as a techno dinosaur,(not a dino who has a bad taste in hip hop clothing and banging his head to techno beats) i'm lost and deterred by the fact that i have to go through this on the internet. Where's the direct phone calls and man-to-man interviews? Because of this, i have not been able to find a job. *Sobs*

As you might have noticed, i am slandering the internet through the internet. Ironic, ain't it. I might have shown the ugly side but i'm not saying that it doesn't have its good side. I mean, this blog is freedom of expression of my emotions. And to let you get to know me better. Duh. But if you really wanna know me better, just pick a time and place and we'll have dinner together!!

Oh by the way, you must first send in your resume to my email and i'll decide whether you are the perfect candidate to eat with me. There might be an interview. *Grin*

P.S. I've come to realize that i write posts very, very late in the night, or very, very early in the morning. Whichever you see it. I should really stop this habit. Makes me not able to write to my best.

Quote of the post :
Smile & the world smiles with you. Smile more & the world sends you to the loony bin.

TEENS SUNDAY ANNUAL!!

The two-day ordeal is finally over!!! Rehearsals on Saturday & Teens Sunday on, obviously, Sunday has passed!! Hurrah!!

Not that i'm saying that both days wasn't fun. On the contrary. It was bucket loads of fun, laughter and most of all, sweat. Here's the breakdown of both days.

Saturday
Rehearsals was really a breath of fresh air. To have a all-access back-pass to the whole procedure on Sunday was, in my point of view, is rather amazing. The effort put in is highlighted every time practice starts. The band & musicians were playing as good as usual but to actually be there so close to them is simply amazing. Eugene, the drummer, has always shone behind the drums, but i seriously can feel the energy la!!

I was also in the Cheer Squad too. Woohoo!! Great cheers were remixed to fit into a 3minute-cheer, brilliantly led by Cher Yang so a big applause for him for that!! Despite a shaky start on learning the cheers, we got serious & learned it on time for the last dry run. Not to bad, but could be better. *Smiles*

Leon had a hidden talent. He knows how to play the Crazy Cups. Go google it if you don't know what it is as it's kinda hard to describe what it really is. Brilliant young dude.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that rehearsals was from 1-8.30pm. Without air-conditioning. Yes, i wasn't lying when i said there were bucket loads of sweat. Oh well, praying all our efforts doesn't go to waste on the big day!!


Sunday(The Big Day)
7.30am was the meeting time!!! CRAZY!!

I'm writing this blog with eyes half-closed but strangely my mind don't seem to wish to shut down just yet.

Thankfully, everything did not go according to plan. My meaning = it went better than expected!! The crowd was somewhat energetic but it's better than dead silence, right! It's almost a carbon copy form the rehearsals but with extra, energy, power, gusto, etc, etc. Oh and less sweat since the air-conditioning is on!! YEAH!!

Overall, it was a great effort from the whole Teens involved & i think we showed the grown-ups we are ready to step up and have more responsibilities church-wise. No doubt in my mind that all things are possible through God!! PTL!!

TEENS AH PWA BEI TOU!!

Pandan cake & the smell of new wallet

Today is a good day.

Started off lazy as usual, watching the second episode of Dexter from the laptop when Candy asked whether i could accompany her to the IT fair that afternoon. Seeing this as a chance to get out of this hell-hole, i agreed.

The IT fair is always a big event every time it comes to town. With special discounts and freebies thrown in to entice you into buying their stuff, obviously Singaporeans flock to there. You know, it kinda feels good having the power on whether to grant the sales promoter with commission or get him fired. The MRT station to Expo was unsurprisingly packed like sardines, since today was a public holiday. Needless to say, the Expo was even more crowded. This actually dawned onto me that i really don't like crowded areas. I don't think this is claustrophobic and is another thingy. Oh well.

After surveying every brand of laptops that were on sale, a shortlist have been made, but no final decision were made on that day. Afterwards, we head to Outram Park for our CG meeting. AHWOO!!

We spent the first hour practicing the cheers for Spark but i felt it was kinda of a waste of time. Sorry but i can't remember half the cheers you said!! Hey, at least it was a start, yeah? After that our CG meeting officially started.

Surprised was i when there was something planned for the November Babies(Me & Candy)!! Imagine a pandan cake, with toppings of McDonald's Ketchup, Garlic Chilli and last but certainly not least, Duck Sauce. And we were supposed to eat it.

Yes, the taste is still in my mouth. Oh well, I've tasted much more worse. Those who participated in the Battle Of The Sexes last year know what i'm talking about. *Shudder*

After chomping down the ghastly food(?), another small surprise was ahead. They presented me with a brand new brownish wallet to replace my old, torn wallet!! Actually, it wasn't really a surprise since throughout this whole month, i've been asked alot by people to see my antique wallet. Sorry for not being surprised eh. Overall, Thanks for that abomination you call food and the wallet!! *Smiles*

Can't wait for rehearsals tomorrow for Teens Sunday!! Excited to see how everything goes!!

Wrote this on Friday night, now it's a Saturday morning. =.=

That day was a good day.

P.S. No, I will not throw away my 'old, broken down' wallet. He's Family, you hear!! You can't throw away Family!! WTF!!

The Good, the Neutral, the Evil

Came across some stuff that is totally cool so wanna share it with you guys.

LAWFUL GOOD
Without courage, justice is weak.

NEUTRAL GOOD
Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, to all the souls you can, at all the times you can, with all the zeal you can, as long as you ever can.

CHAOTIC GOOD
Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.

LAWFUL NEUTRAL
I. Am. The. State.

TRUE NEUTRAL
The word 'happiness' would lose all its meaning, if it were not balanced by sadness.

CHAOTIC NEUTRAL
Anarchy is the only slight glimmer of hope.

LAWFUL EVIL
Slaves would be tyrants, were the chance theirs.

NEUTRAL EVIL
The sun also shines on the wicked.

CHAOTIC EVIL
When choosing between two evils, i always pick the one i never tried before.

Which one is yours?

The Gran Review.... (Cold, I know)

Death is bittersweet. Bitter in the pain but sweet in the salvation. That was how it started in the movie. Gran Torino. Directed and acted by the legendary Clint Eastwood. The Last American Hero. Apparently his last acting role too.

Despite his name being in the poster, the movie wasn't much of a hit. Maybe putting an old fart like him on the poster, let alone giving him the lead role, doesn't appeal to most fans, especially the younger generation. Well, not me. And of course, for those who watched it.

Basically, the story is about Walt Kowalski(played by Eastwood) ,with a special love for his 1972 Gran Torino, whom just had a Hmong family move in next to his house. Trouble ensues when one of the family members tries to steal his car. Forced to work for Walt as punishment, the thief and him bonded unexpectedly. As Walt grew closer to the family, problems arise, particularly from the gangs around the neighborhood.

Kowalski is a grumpy, old, back-talking, vulgarity-spewing, tortured soul. Having served in the Vietnam War, he had a particular dislike to the Asian folk. He never was close to anyone, even to his family. So he just walks around, cursing anyone he sees, punctuating every word with obscenities. This character was made just for Eastwood. Hands down the perfect man for the job.

Forgive me if i am being biased but i really love Eastwood, especially in this film. He's the only man who can growl 'Get out of my lawn' and not look like a fool. This film just shows you that a 70-plus year old man can still look damn intimidatingly and mean it.

This movie depicts the Western culture. Shows the every day lives of a typical American. And i'm really thankful that i live in Singapore and not there. There's extreme peer pressure, almost impossible to say no and get away without nothing happening. Gangsters flaunting their guns like it's the new trend. I mean, you just stroll along the street and that act alone would be very dangerous. I'm thankful i'm able to walk around without fearing for my life, if you know what i mean.

The scene that got to me surprisingly was the first. A funeral for Kowalski's wife. A respectable amount of people turned up but the thing that got to me is the fact that everyone there didn't really care that she died, relative or non. Only a handful of friends were still alive to be there. Your sons and daughters with their families sitting there not mourning, but wondering when it will all end. I know it's still early in my life to be thinking this way but what if i become like Kowalski? What if i become bitter and cold, attending every friend's funeral until there's no one left but me. It would f*%-ing suck.

This movie is very, very sad. Don't be surprised if you have moist in your eyes at the end of the movie. It's those kind of movie where you have a relationship with the lead and in the end everything just falls apart.(including you) I also won't be surprise if you keep spouting obscenities repeatedly thanks to Kowalski. Oh Son of A ......

My First Movie Review!! Boomx!!

Wah... feels good today.

First thing i saw from the moment i awoke was an SMS from Roy. He asked me whether i was interested in watching Astro Boy with him today. Very sudden but i said yes!

I was rather cautious about the movie considering it's an animation movie. Especially Astro Boy. I mean, wasn't this created by the Japanese? Why is it in English? Anyways. The only animation movie i will only watch was those from Pixar. Brilliant buggers the whole lot. Anyways, i searched for reviews of the movie on the web & to my amazement, most rated it as a watchable movie. One even defined them as a true contender against the Pixar Studios. Now this i got to see.

Overall, it was an enjoyable show. I don't really wanna spoil the movie plot but there really isn't much to reveal though. So, in a nutshell, Astro is created by a Scientist and has this cool defensive/offensive hi-tech gear and struggles to fit in with the rest of the society.

There were moments that really touched on your emotions. There was the time when Astro's father rejected him as a son & defining him as only just a robot. And another time when he wanted to sacrifice himself to save the town. 'He just wanted to help everyone' says one from the movie.(Sorry, forgot the name) Sounds unreal but it really isn't. Sounds childish, yes. But after all, he is just a boy. Who can blame him.

The fight scenes were nicely done, especially when Astro Boy just grabbed a huge robot the size of a 12-storey building and slammed it against the ground. Shades of Superman but to see a tiny little boy do that feat to a humongous robot is just.... woah.

One scene i particularly liked was the 3 robot revolutionists. They had been led to believe that robots have been abused & treated improperly and are revolting against the humans. This may sound too serious for a Kid Flick but lemme finish. A revolution led by 3 bumbling idiots. Need i say more? Sure, the idea isn't that original but they added a little color & a few laughs into the movie.

It may not have breath-taking visual effects. It may not have brilliant graphics. Hands down, Pixar is he best-looking in the animation business. But they do not have the sole ownership to touching & moving stories.

Imagi Studios(the one behind Astro Boy) is a potential contender but obviously has to have more original films next time. As Astro Boy would say, Onwards & Upwards!!

Ok, i know this review isn't that great but i'm still learning. Ciao~

Outbreak of Brain Squishing & Gun Slinging!!

I'M BACK!! Long time since i've posted something here eh. Hmm.. You know... I actually have nothing to write about, no news to brag about these days. Well there's the end of my O Levels. Although to be exact, it's tomorrow actually. But what the hey i'm already in a celebratory mood!

Exams were so-so la.. it seriously can swing either way. Either fail frantically or pass with pride. AND i rather not talk about it. What's done is done so no good reason mulling whether that question was correct or wrong.

So back to the present, where everything is at a stand-still & nothing exciting ever happens. *Sigh*

Oh yeah, i'm now downloading the Demo of Left 4 Dead 2 but the process is painstakingly slow!! Why? The speed of the download is between 7 to 25kb/sec!! Started at around 3 & it's now 10. Just got to 62%... *Sigh once again*

Oh man, watching the trailer of the game over & over again never fail to make me itch to play the game! There's just something alluring about the undead, you know. All that grunting & moaning, and of course their brains & body parts bursting when you blast them with your rifle. Movies have been made in tribute of them. Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Something something of the Dead. You know what i mean.

Of course, who can forget the Dancing Zombies for the Music Video : Thriller
Believe it or not, that was the first MV i watched!! It was a gem by The late, great Michael Jackson and who couldn't known zombies and dancing fit perfectly!! Just needed a touch of magic by MJ, that's all.

Yes, i'm bullshitting now.

64% now....... :(

HOW LONG MORE TILL I CAN BLOW SOME ZOMBIES BRAINS OUT!!

A Glorified Dedication to the Supposedly Damned

Here's to the Crazy Ones.
The Misfits. The Rebels.
The Troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes -
The One who sees things differently.
They're not fond of rules
and they have no Respect
For the Status Quo.
You can Praise them,
Disagree with them,
Quote them, Disbelieve them,
Glorify them or Vilify them.
About the One thing that you
can't do is Ignore them.
Because they Change Things.
Author Unknown

This is my code. Are you one of Them?

Is it real? Or is it only short-term?

Realization can be a funny thing. Not the Ha-Ha-roll-on-floor-laughing kind of funny but quite the opposite actually. It could smack you in the face when you least expect it. Although that pain might be reassuring to you. Again, not defining pain here in the S&M kind of way. Anyways, what was the topic again? Oh yea. Realization. Funny.

Realization comes to you in different forms throughout your lives, the idea of being aware of something is that it's totally random. To realize something cannot be forced. It must be given to you on a silver platter when God sees you are ready. In my case, i just realize how close it is to the start of O levels & i'm not freaking out yet! Last year, taking my O levels was seriously the hardest thing i ever had to do. Seriously. Around the same this last year, i was freaking out, cramming as much as i could into little noggin but as the results came out it was for nothing. All that torture. All the lost sleep. All the mind-numbing studying. Good times.

This year was in contrast to the previous. How so, you ask? Look at me. I'm blogging a week before the exams. How stressed do you think i am? Not that i didn't study throughout the whole year. It's just that i was taking a different path without even realizing it. To tell you the truth, i have not been studying as much as i hoped for. I confess to burning half a year playing games, chilling out, etc. I only started to really study only a couple of months back.

Upon looking back at that, you might think i regretted how i used up my time. You see, that's the thing. I didn't. I actually might have used up my time well. In my opinion, anyways.

God likes to play games with people. I know because i'm His little plaything. He likes to steal my lollipop & put it on the highest shelf, way out of my reach and laugh at my efforts on trying to get my lollipop back. To clear things, i am not portraying God as a bully. Not quite. I see him as a teacher & that he knows how to make me understand things.

Around a month back, i was having a mini-breakdown. I discovered time is fast running out & that i haven't really studied as much to my liking. I couldn't sleep. I was trying to find a way out. I prayed as hard as i could but no reply. No reply. Desperate as i was, i went to a friend whose name i shall not reveal. She gave me advice that i already had. Strange thing was, it works. I calmed down, sat down & studied. Hopefully i'm not jinxing myself but i feel i learn pretty quickly.

Help from my friends got me through this trying time and i realized there's nothing to be stressed about. What's the use of that? It can't even be eaten. Right now i can honestly say that come what may on my O level results, i will still stand on my two feet. Not on my knees crying. Guess what? God gave me a stepladder to reach my lollipop!

Sometimes the tools are just right in front of you, it just takes time for you to realize it's there.

GOD IS GREAT. Peace out dudes!!

Birthday Birthday... Sweet moments & bitter times?

Very strange to continue blogging when i know there's only a handful reading mine.. Oh well..

Since i might not be updating my blog because of the upcoming 'O' Levels, I wanna talk about my birthday!! And being the humble person i am, i'm gonna tell you what i want. *Grin*

Hmmm... I'm really not sure what i want though. I mean i'm seriously in need of necessities right now eg. Clothes, blah, blah.. But what i really, really want, i'm going to tell you in the most common way. By a riddle. Here it goes.

I am something you will hold close to your heart,

something that wouldn't rust or decrease in value over time.

I am something he thinks he doesn't need right now,

a thing that makes no sense or rhyme,

but will enjoy more than wealth or personal achievement.

I am under-looked like a pebble & overlooked like a huge building

I am worthless yet priceless at the same time.

What am i?

Not so easy, eh?

If you can figure it out then Hallelujah!! A perfect gift. But of course, other gifts are welcome too.
Happy thinking & Ciao~

KuaSimi?

I'm suddenly feel very patriotic right now. Why? I have been listening to alot of Singlish songs. *Smirks* For me, the Singlish language makes Singapore that edge over other countries. Let's see. We have the Merlion, which really is a freak of nature: a lion that has a fish tail for legs & constantly vomiting water. I mean, whose sick, twisted mind could have come up with that, seriously!!

We have Hossan Leong, PM Lee, MM Lee(conicidence?), famous drag queen Kumar, that Mr. Brown dude, the delicious Muttons from 98.7fm, ERP, laksa wars, our annual National Day songs, SG Superhero VR Man, our gangsters Ah Bengs, NEWater (haiz) & not forgetting Phua Chu Kang. Not sure who i missed.

From the very day this little country was named, a lot of weird, unique crap had happened to us. How Japan invaded us very easily & stupidly. I cringe at the fact when historians read our history. Also our fiasco about the merger, separation & the breakdown of the now MM Lee. But i want to focus on our unofficial language.

Singlish seeped into our daily lives without warning until we can't break the habit. Ending our sentences with 'lah' or 'loh'. It's our way of identifying who is the true-blooded Singaporean. Foreigners can learn German, or French or even Spanish. But they could never go to a school & ask for a lesson on Singlish. Not officially though. That's the beauty of it. You can only learn it on the streets, naturally. Sitting at a coffee-shop, overhearing the uncles talking loudly in hokkien.

If you really think about it, it's natural to have Singlish in our veins. You see, we don't have our own style in the fashion sense, music sense or any other senses. We even smell like them. Thankfully we don't talk like them. We can't boast about our own creation of culinary delicacies. Nor can we cheer for our talents posted in other countries. But we can flaunt our way of speaking. We are rojak. And proud of it. We steal from other people & make it our own. Even though it's obvious it's theirs, we 'die die' also won't confess the truth.

The Government orders us not to use Singlish to speak as it's an 'embarrassment'. They banned all use of Singlish in the television shows or any forms of broadcasting. I don't know about you but television became boring when PCK had to stop talking cock & Singlish. Too bad for them foreigners spend more time outside than inside their homes watching tv. As soon as they step foot on this clean & green earth, they better be prepared to be influenced by us if they really wanna experience the Singapore life. Govt says Singlish no ok but i say what's wrong with it! We must embrace all the 'Lahs' out there. Lift the Ban on Singlish on Tv!!

Ok, i admit. I'm getting too 'high' over this.

If you've noticed, i didn't really use Singlish that much on this post, but right now i'm going to over-use it. Cannot meh? You see ah, Life is more colorful if we speak with slang leh. It's just our way of life, you know. Understand or not? All you blur sotongs sure dunno one la, haiyo. Neber mind i end this with my own quote.

Being just unique doesn't mean you are useful. But doing something unique could make the difference.

Wah, Chim-ology. Viva La Singapura!!

DEMOCRACY IS NOT FREE!! IT IS WORTH EXACTLY 2BUCKS!!

'This is not the Straits Times. Nor is it the New Paper. Don't be fooled by PAP's propaganda! Support democracy! Strengthen the opposition.' That was more or less what a team of people outside Tampines Mrt station was bellowing about. They were carrying newspapers which shout out 'THE DEMOCRAT' trying to get people to be interested. It worked.

I mean, calling PAP a party who brainwashes the society is really taking Freedom of Speech in Singapore to a whole new level. Anyone who was slandering the Government or such will definitely be a magnet to curiosity from the public. And that happened.

While the talker was giving a speech, i was grasping his words intently. No doubt i was intrigued by the accusation/blasphemy. Until he said,'Grab a copy for only 2dollars!' did the crowd disperse.

It was expected, really. The people must really be convinced first to even whisper of the idea of money changing hands for the 'cause'. It's like giving the most inspirational speech of your life to the people, them applauding & agreeing with you, cheering your name, until you tell them to strap themselves with bombs & explode themselves the very next day. You think they would agree with you now? Come on now. This is Singapore. They would rather spend 2bucks for chicken rice than for a newspaper which may be disappointing. You feed the public with only a nibble and expect them to pay for that tiny bite. Of course everyone became uninterested.

You guys are the new guys, remember? You have no street creds you must make sacrifices to increase them. What sacrifices? Make Democracy free. Initially. When everyone is hooked on it, slowly make them pay for it. But assure them they funding the 'cause'. Asking them to pay right now when they don't believe what you are 'selling' is really dumb, seriously. But really, buck up if you want our support. Don't go around slandering the PAP without even giving us any evidence or such. Don't throw face, can? =D

To be or not to be different?

Are you comfortable on where you are right now? That security of the familiar & the tranquil life u worked so hard to achieve? Don't get me wrong, i enjoy that as much as the next guy but can't you feel the insatiable desire to let your ambitions & desires run free? Are you really content with the way things are? And that everyone does the same thing & you follow suit just because it's easier and less stressful. The way one agrees & everyone blindly consent, thinking that if everyone is doing it, it can't be wrong. Do you really wanna live like that?

God granted people ambitions, aspirations & desires. But He also created critics who judge people just because you are you. 'You can't do this,' he says, 'Stop dreaming alright', 'Pigs will fly before you could achieve that!!' These are the people put on this blessed land just to f*#$ with us.(don't mean to curse but can't really find the right word to say how i feel but that..) They could be your closest friends & family and they still put you down. They steal your shoes when you want to step forward. They sit on your shoulders when you want to touch the sky. They piss you off, not knowing they are also pissing on you.

Shit man, if they are doing this for our my *bleeping* good, then why do i feel so bad about myself huh?

There's also another kind of critic & they are the worst kind. They are Hypocrites. They sugarcoat their words when they speak to you, encourage you when the moment arrives but once behind your backs, WHAM!! They pepper-spray your dreams, snorting at the idea of you having such a impossible dream, demeaning you for what you are worth.

I find myself unable to really put my total faith on a living person anymore after a series of most unfortunate events which i wish not to elaborate.

When the time comes & you step into the heavenly gates, you see your life flash before you like a cheap soap opera. How would you feel if you realize that you had not achieve something you yearn so, so long but unable to do so because, well, you are just too darn lazy & content. Wake up people!! Go and achieve what you want to achieve. Put those words into action, you spent your life dreaming your big dream, you have more than enough time to fulfill your goal and relinquish the chance to just go to all those non-believers and say 'HAH!! I've Done It!!' Brush aside them and just get on with life.

Live life to the fullest. And most importantly, live life differently. Don't be the one who just goes with the flow, make the wave or even a ripple!! If you can, be the one that is bold enough to take the first step. Sooner or later, many will follow you. Don't wait! Aren't you tired of waiting for something to fall on your lap? I'm already wasted my life waiting for everything to come to me like love, family, friends, academic studies, etc. No more regrets. No more self-pity. I'm more than ready to make that change and be different!! Are you?

Girls.. A problem since the Dawn of Time

Hmmm.. Finally i can update my blog!! Hehz.. But strangely i find myself staring at the screen thinking of what i should blog on despite such an eventful week. Let me see, i celebrated Keith's Birthday at his house on Friday(Good Donuts!!), had a great service on Saturday, danced on stage in church (Good times), went on a Rock Band Unplugged Marathon in my house for God knows how long on Monday(Good game but eyes hurt though) and finally, celebration of Siwei's 16th year on this lovely Earth(Luo Zhi Xiang!!). Blogging about happy occasions? Not today dude. I wanna blog about the female species & the feelings attached. RANDOM!!

Being with the one you love gives you that kind of feeling that you just wanna scream to everyone that she's likes you! That innocent shyness when it starts out and escalates to something much more than just accidental brushing of the shoulders. Just grinning at the fact that you have someone(not something) to hold on to. But whoever said it's better to love and lost than to never have loved at all never felt pain before. Or he just been plain lucky his first was The One.

To love is one thing. To be loved back is another. It's a team effort.(DUH!!) I'm in a situation which millions have been in, which is sitting at one corner gazing at the girl you like but going crazy on whether she likes you back. I just hate the fact that i don't know if she has the same feeling you do. That awkwardness you get when alone with each other. The endless digging of topics you wanna chat about with her just not to let her think i'm a boring person. Or whether it's the right thing to do if you confess your feelings to her. Here's some suggested answers from that little lady.

a) I love you too! I have been waiting for you to say that!! *hugs & kisses*
b) Um.. I only love you like a brother.. sorry~
c) HAHAHAAHHAAZ!! Are you serious? Come on dude!!

Obviously answer A is just a dream. B is the worst fear a guy/girl could have. C is just plain hurtful. Answer B is one of the worst case scenarios you could be in after confession takes place. The awkwardness both parties feel, the silence between both individuals & the eventual parting of ways from friends to acquaintance. That's what i fear the most. A loss of a good friend.

Speaking of friends, the girl i like is good friend of mine. We laugh at each others' jokes, made fun of each other when unglam moments pop up, pull each other up when brought down. So where's the problem? You see, she sends out different signals every time!! First she could be saying i like you, the next minute she could be pushing you away. Why, GOD, why is this so hard!!! I can officially proclaim that this is harder than Principle Of Accounts!! Period!!

Naturally, i chatted with a 'guru' who is an expert in this area. I poured out my problem to him & he stroked his imaginary long, flowing beard and said i was just finding excuses to avoid confrontation. Love is all about being scared & taking risks. If all else fails, then just proceed to the next girl. -.-'' I forgotten i was talking to a man who changes girlfriends on a regular basis.

I need to clear some things up first. I'm actually an alright-looking guy. Sure i have a skinny body, no muscles to flaunt, hangs around with much more good-looking people than me, a face scarred by acne, kinda hairy(in the right places), an okay butt, almost always don't look good in pictures and many more i conveniently forgot. So what, all i know about myself is that i'm a self-proclaimed gentleman. Any takers?

And for once, why can't the ladies make the first move? I ask you this and you say it's the way it should be : Ladies wait for the men to make first move. And then when i ask you why you are wearing men's clothes you call me a chauvinist. Sad world we live in.

Oh oh i am so pissed at the fact that ugly, nerdy guys have hot, gorgeous girlfriends and I DON"T!! What do they have that i don't? Is their intellect and dominance on the academic studies so alluring? Their faces covered with pimples that their pimples could burst out any minute! My friend said that it was because an ugly guy would not be unfaithful. I can be FAiTHFUL!! I am seriously Furious at this fact, also sad that they can get one before me. Life's seriously unfair.

Maybe i should just erect out a tombstone for my ability to love. 'Death By Decay' it would read, because of the fact that i could not express my feelings freely. *Sigh*

P.S. Happy Birthday to Keith, Valentina and Siwei!! Even though you will not be reading this. ;D Ciao~

Back to School '09

Hey went back to school on Monday for Teacher's Day!! Only once every 365 days do we officially appreciate the teacher's pain & sufferings they experienced after years of trying to screw things into our thick head of ours. Meeting your classmates the first time in what seemed forever kinda made me sentimental. Even the march through the school's front gate reminds me of our secondary school days. Ah the good old days.

Since my batch has already graduated end of last year, it was a hassle getting into the school. Stupid new principal. Anyways, we had to wait at the front gate under the blistering sun(it was 12pm by the way) for what seem like half an hour before our teacher came to escort the whole gang in. You see, new rules implies that a teacher has to escort us into the school compounds. In any case, no teacher, no entry. We were just in time to catch the middle of the teacher's day concert. Saw the new principal (bleah) giving a speech but didn't care less. Ding-Dong~ Ding-Dong~ The school bell!! Hearing it again really takes me back. Nice.. Looked around the hall and saw couple of my teachers slimmed down, some growing horizontally instead of vertically and two of the teachers i knew are pregnant! Woo.. One's having a baby boy(not sure when it's due to be bring into this world though)!! Way to go, Mr Koh. ;D

Saw Couple of performances but nothing worth writing about. The modern dance was kinda terrible, lacking the sexiness the guys & i always looked out for whenever they performed on stage. Not much expectations as they are the new blood. Now i remember one performance which stood out from the rest and garnered the most applause. It was when the teachers dressed up in school uniform rocking out as a band!! From where i stood, which was kinda far from the stage, you wouldn't know they were our teachers. They sang the rock-out version of the School Song!! After that rendition, They even mashed up songs like Sweet Child Of Mine(One of my top favs), You belong With Me and a bunch of songs i couldn't remember & finishing with I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Cool idea man..

Went to chat with a couple of the teachers, even challenge a few of my friends to call their teachers by their first names.(no one dared, of course) Hahaz.. For a while we got kinda bored so we left the school. The whole split into three : Some went home, some went to Tampines to slack, the others left without saying goodbye(hmmm..). i went with the group that went to Tampines.

Turned out me & my friend, who is a Tamil, weren't Muslims & the rest are. So we fast with them until 7.12pm. Confession time!! I didn't actually fast because i ate before i went with them so me fasting doesn't really count on that day. Anyways, we slacked at the balcony of Tampines Mall. With nothing to do, I got on the 'thing that goes round & round until you puke you brains out' ride. Got on, Friend spun me round & round, got off, my stomach's never been the same ever since. If you haven't rode this ride before, i urge you to try it. Why, you ask. Because when you are in a twisted ride like this & someone's spinning you non-stop, You can feel your grip at the handles slipping away & could be flung out of that death-trap at break-neck speed. I kid you not. On second thoughts, don't try it. Because i might have your death in my conscience if you did.

Decided to eat at Pizza Hut for our dinner. You see, we went in early to beat the queue, but we had to wait like, 45 minutes before we could eat beacuse of the fasting. We also ordered our food early thinking that they would serve our order very late. We were wrong. So we sat there trying as hard as possible not to stare at the food that's placed before us. As you can see in your left, it was pure torture. Ding-ding!! It's finally time to break fast!! Ah!! utter bliss burst into my mind & stomach as i chomp down my pizza & lasagna. Feelings i had after i got on the Devil's Seat was long forgotten.

After feeling our bellies with sinful delicacies, we head to T1 to slack at the balcony & let our tummies settle down. But then my friend called asking me where i was & i almost forgot i made plans to play soccer with them! So i rushed there & found that very shagged apparently from all the running. Not much to say but i pretty much sucked that night. My shooting was straight into the keeper's hands & my passing wasn't that accurate.Really feel like blaming the food but it wasn't. Oh well, next time i will be better. But i assure you that i'm an exceptional soccer player. That night just wasn't my night.

Overall, it was a great day. Met with my classmates, had a chat with a couple of my teachers and had a rare dinner with the gang !! Grateful to have this once-daily moment once again.*Smiles*

Dreams Are Sight for the Blind, Actions Lets the Lame Walk.

Had to change my font because SOMEONE's computer couldnt recognise wingdings. Hmmm.. today was a great day. Missed church today so kinda pissed at myself for not waking up on time. But no matter. What's done is done.

Anyways i met with a couple of my friends & went to study at Harbourfront center. You know the Kopitiam that's on the third floor? That's an excellent choice of location to study because not many frequent the place, thus making it an ideal place! I wanna thank Changhua & Amos for tutoring me on Maths & Principle of Accounts respectively. I Seriously learnt alot today so thanks Bros!!

But the day stood out from all the other days only when the day was ending. It was getting late & Amos and i were on our way home. We were having a heart-to-heart conversation. Have you ever had that before? That one to one chat when we can really be honest to each other. I love those conversations. When you are in a crowd, you might want to be the one who likes to the center of the attention by cracking jokes or making faces just to impress a chick or whatever. When you are in a crowd, you can just stand behind the rest & just listen to them without uttering any words. When you are alone with someone you're close with, you have nothing or no one to hide behind. And i love the straight talks you can only get in that situation.

He started the conversation by asking how i have broaden my dreams since Caleb shared with us about how to dream dreams and achieving them through faith. Hmmm... How have i broaden my dreams? I did not broaden my dreams on that day because i feel i have to take one step at a time. I only just planned out my actions on achieving that dream. The huge rock that's blocking my path right now is the O levels. If i could not only jump over that rock but also destroy it completely, i would have taken a huge step forward in reaching my beautiful goal. That's more or less what i told him. He shifted his weight a little to the left & told me that i'm not dreaming big enough."World-renowned," he muttered this. I am more than what i think i can become. Wow. It echoed in my head and now it still does. Now i have been re-lit with a bigger desire to study harder for my examinations! I can feel it!! WooHoo!!!

We chatted on other topics but i rather not share it here. I might 'have a cup of coffee with some of my elders'!! If you know what i mean of course!!. *laughs* Anyways, i am urging you blog-readers who only harbor splendid ambitions but do not act. Now is the time for execution! Raise anarchy if you must!! But don't step blindly for you might be walking the wrong direction. Have faith in not only God but, most importantly, yourself. Only that way can anything be possible.

Here's a countdown to my O levels just for the heck of it :

57 days till my first O level paper. =)

An intro From an Introvert

Hey, How are you? That chair comfy enough for you? It's alright? Ready to begin? I'm not. Well, here I am gazing at the screen with idiotic face & thinking of what i should write about for my FIRST blog post and immediately i'm thinking an introduction to the world of me! Or at least what i let you see. So it really begins riggghhtt nnooww.. Just direct your beautiful eyeballs below this sentence and we are on the way!

Idealist. Perfectionist. Anarchist. That's how i define myself. Don't understand why? Here, take my hand(or your mouse) & tread on. (Got the definitions at dictionary.com)

1) Idealist - [ahy-dee-uh-list] 
Definiton - a visionary or impractical person.
Sayings of an idealist - One day, cold-fusion from a glass of water will provide unlimited energy & end war.

A visionary or impractical person? *Laughs* One describes oneself as a person who can see what no one have seen before while the other says you are just a dreamer. I admit that i'm a dreamer who dream big dreams whenever God allows me to. But i dream only the ones that are plausible & not impossible. What about you? Are your dreams really that achievable? Wait this is about me, not you. Alright on right track now.

Take my projects with Keith(hey bro!) for instance. We made a song together for 2 of our friends for their birthday & they loved it(at least that's what they told us). Now we are on another hush hush project now and it's getting ambitious by the month that i can see us doing a music video! Haha.. Anyways, that's just one example & i don't wanna babble on about this. So moving on.

Perfectionist - [per-fek-shuh-nist]
Definition - a person who demands perfection of himself, herself, or others.
Sayings of a Perfectionist - I want this glass to be filled with water that's 36% cold, 24% hot & 40% warm.

Well, this really explains itself but works on different levels on different people. Some are deem themselves perfectionists only when they abstain from the "7 Deadly Sins" during their living lives so as to achieve spiritual deliverance. Others might want to be too perfect. Just like the example i gave.(look at sayings of the blah blah blah...). Well, i look at things a wee bit differently. Here's to sum everything up, i expect alot from myself & i want it to look perfect. But i don't really expect anything from you. Seriously. That's the different part if you didn't notice.Maybe it's because of a series of events that led to me not really trusting anyone to accomplish anything for me but that's just my thinking. Not that i'm being perfect for the society but it's just for my pleasure. What i accomplish is gonna please me more than it does to for you so that's why i'm a perfectionist.

Anarchist - [an-er-kist]
Definition - to revolt is to refuse to obey the constraints imposed by another
Sayings of an Anarchist - Pour the glass of water at the manager because it's not up to standard.

Revoloutionist. Traitor. Rioter. Troublemaker. Just different.

People who know me "are going are you sure you are a bloody anarchist? Do you even know what it means?" Yes i do know the meaning. And i wrote it up there. People look at the word anarchist and think of sick bastards ,with swastikas tattooed on their forehead, raising hell & just causing trouble that are most disturbing. Well i am like that. Except for their appearance, we really feel the same way. Well I look at that word & see Freedom of Speech, to fight for a cause you have total faith in when the society condemns that very cause. I believe a problem should be dealt with at any cost, but not to the extent that people have to die for it. That's what seperates me from those brutes.

Anarchy is not being swayed by the ignorant & impassive crowd who molests you mentally & anyone who don't think alike would be deemed a riot maker. Condemned by those who think highly of themselves or even a shiny golden God who can do no wrong. I am the few who is trying to voice out what i feel. I want to riot against the boring, old tradition of the people whom just take the pain & don't give it back. I need to be there to start the making waves in the stagnant waters. I was already at the front lines being hurt again & again until i am what i am now. Get used to it they would say. Get used to me i want to retort but have no chance on doing so.

The simple reason why they see us as wrong & them right is that they think they are right. The same goes for someone like me. You got to do something to make them change their mindset. Cause that ripple however because someone's bound to feel you there. Anarchy promotes extreme actions. That's the only way to turn their stiff heads.

But these 3 traits weigh out each other perfectly. I look at the future too much & become unhappy of it, thus having ideas on raising anarchy to the point where everyone stops & stare. But i'm pulled down by my perfectionist streak, wasting time just waiting for the perfect plan where no one else is to be involved except me. All i can do now is just wait & write about it.

Anyways, ending with a happier note, i'm actually rather happy with my life now. Few cracks here & there but hey nothing i can't resolve. I have already prepared my with the mindset that It just takes time. So i'm not rushing. And to you guys out there, just wait. You'll get what you deserve whether good or bad.