Is it real? Or is it only short-term?

Realization can be a funny thing. Not the Ha-Ha-roll-on-floor-laughing kind of funny but quite the opposite actually. It could smack you in the face when you least expect it. Although that pain might be reassuring to you. Again, not defining pain here in the S&M kind of way. Anyways, what was the topic again? Oh yea. Realization. Funny.

Realization comes to you in different forms throughout your lives, the idea of being aware of something is that it's totally random. To realize something cannot be forced. It must be given to you on a silver platter when God sees you are ready. In my case, i just realize how close it is to the start of O levels & i'm not freaking out yet! Last year, taking my O levels was seriously the hardest thing i ever had to do. Seriously. Around the same this last year, i was freaking out, cramming as much as i could into little noggin but as the results came out it was for nothing. All that torture. All the lost sleep. All the mind-numbing studying. Good times.

This year was in contrast to the previous. How so, you ask? Look at me. I'm blogging a week before the exams. How stressed do you think i am? Not that i didn't study throughout the whole year. It's just that i was taking a different path without even realizing it. To tell you the truth, i have not been studying as much as i hoped for. I confess to burning half a year playing games, chilling out, etc. I only started to really study only a couple of months back.

Upon looking back at that, you might think i regretted how i used up my time. You see, that's the thing. I didn't. I actually might have used up my time well. In my opinion, anyways.

God likes to play games with people. I know because i'm His little plaything. He likes to steal my lollipop & put it on the highest shelf, way out of my reach and laugh at my efforts on trying to get my lollipop back. To clear things, i am not portraying God as a bully. Not quite. I see him as a teacher & that he knows how to make me understand things.

Around a month back, i was having a mini-breakdown. I discovered time is fast running out & that i haven't really studied as much to my liking. I couldn't sleep. I was trying to find a way out. I prayed as hard as i could but no reply. No reply. Desperate as i was, i went to a friend whose name i shall not reveal. She gave me advice that i already had. Strange thing was, it works. I calmed down, sat down & studied. Hopefully i'm not jinxing myself but i feel i learn pretty quickly.

Help from my friends got me through this trying time and i realized there's nothing to be stressed about. What's the use of that? It can't even be eaten. Right now i can honestly say that come what may on my O level results, i will still stand on my two feet. Not on my knees crying. Guess what? God gave me a stepladder to reach my lollipop!

Sometimes the tools are just right in front of you, it just takes time for you to realize it's there.

GOD IS GREAT. Peace out dudes!!