DEMOCRACY IS NOT FREE!! IT IS WORTH EXACTLY 2BUCKS!!

'This is not the Straits Times. Nor is it the New Paper. Don't be fooled by PAP's propaganda! Support democracy! Strengthen the opposition.' That was more or less what a team of people outside Tampines Mrt station was bellowing about. They were carrying newspapers which shout out 'THE DEMOCRAT' trying to get people to be interested. It worked.

I mean, calling PAP a party who brainwashes the society is really taking Freedom of Speech in Singapore to a whole new level. Anyone who was slandering the Government or such will definitely be a magnet to curiosity from the public. And that happened.

While the talker was giving a speech, i was grasping his words intently. No doubt i was intrigued by the accusation/blasphemy. Until he said,'Grab a copy for only 2dollars!' did the crowd disperse.

It was expected, really. The people must really be convinced first to even whisper of the idea of money changing hands for the 'cause'. It's like giving the most inspirational speech of your life to the people, them applauding & agreeing with you, cheering your name, until you tell them to strap themselves with bombs & explode themselves the very next day. You think they would agree with you now? Come on now. This is Singapore. They would rather spend 2bucks for chicken rice than for a newspaper which may be disappointing. You feed the public with only a nibble and expect them to pay for that tiny bite. Of course everyone became uninterested.

You guys are the new guys, remember? You have no street creds you must make sacrifices to increase them. What sacrifices? Make Democracy free. Initially. When everyone is hooked on it, slowly make them pay for it. But assure them they funding the 'cause'. Asking them to pay right now when they don't believe what you are 'selling' is really dumb, seriously. But really, buck up if you want our support. Don't go around slandering the PAP without even giving us any evidence or such. Don't throw face, can? =D

To be or not to be different?

Are you comfortable on where you are right now? That security of the familiar & the tranquil life u worked so hard to achieve? Don't get me wrong, i enjoy that as much as the next guy but can't you feel the insatiable desire to let your ambitions & desires run free? Are you really content with the way things are? And that everyone does the same thing & you follow suit just because it's easier and less stressful. The way one agrees & everyone blindly consent, thinking that if everyone is doing it, it can't be wrong. Do you really wanna live like that?

God granted people ambitions, aspirations & desires. But He also created critics who judge people just because you are you. 'You can't do this,' he says, 'Stop dreaming alright', 'Pigs will fly before you could achieve that!!' These are the people put on this blessed land just to f*#$ with us.(don't mean to curse but can't really find the right word to say how i feel but that..) They could be your closest friends & family and they still put you down. They steal your shoes when you want to step forward. They sit on your shoulders when you want to touch the sky. They piss you off, not knowing they are also pissing on you.

Shit man, if they are doing this for our my *bleeping* good, then why do i feel so bad about myself huh?

There's also another kind of critic & they are the worst kind. They are Hypocrites. They sugarcoat their words when they speak to you, encourage you when the moment arrives but once behind your backs, WHAM!! They pepper-spray your dreams, snorting at the idea of you having such a impossible dream, demeaning you for what you are worth.

I find myself unable to really put my total faith on a living person anymore after a series of most unfortunate events which i wish not to elaborate.

When the time comes & you step into the heavenly gates, you see your life flash before you like a cheap soap opera. How would you feel if you realize that you had not achieve something you yearn so, so long but unable to do so because, well, you are just too darn lazy & content. Wake up people!! Go and achieve what you want to achieve. Put those words into action, you spent your life dreaming your big dream, you have more than enough time to fulfill your goal and relinquish the chance to just go to all those non-believers and say 'HAH!! I've Done It!!' Brush aside them and just get on with life.

Live life to the fullest. And most importantly, live life differently. Don't be the one who just goes with the flow, make the wave or even a ripple!! If you can, be the one that is bold enough to take the first step. Sooner or later, many will follow you. Don't wait! Aren't you tired of waiting for something to fall on your lap? I'm already wasted my life waiting for everything to come to me like love, family, friends, academic studies, etc. No more regrets. No more self-pity. I'm more than ready to make that change and be different!! Are you?

Girls.. A problem since the Dawn of Time

Hmmm.. Finally i can update my blog!! Hehz.. But strangely i find myself staring at the screen thinking of what i should blog on despite such an eventful week. Let me see, i celebrated Keith's Birthday at his house on Friday(Good Donuts!!), had a great service on Saturday, danced on stage in church (Good times), went on a Rock Band Unplugged Marathon in my house for God knows how long on Monday(Good game but eyes hurt though) and finally, celebration of Siwei's 16th year on this lovely Earth(Luo Zhi Xiang!!). Blogging about happy occasions? Not today dude. I wanna blog about the female species & the feelings attached. RANDOM!!

Being with the one you love gives you that kind of feeling that you just wanna scream to everyone that she's likes you! That innocent shyness when it starts out and escalates to something much more than just accidental brushing of the shoulders. Just grinning at the fact that you have someone(not something) to hold on to. But whoever said it's better to love and lost than to never have loved at all never felt pain before. Or he just been plain lucky his first was The One.

To love is one thing. To be loved back is another. It's a team effort.(DUH!!) I'm in a situation which millions have been in, which is sitting at one corner gazing at the girl you like but going crazy on whether she likes you back. I just hate the fact that i don't know if she has the same feeling you do. That awkwardness you get when alone with each other. The endless digging of topics you wanna chat about with her just not to let her think i'm a boring person. Or whether it's the right thing to do if you confess your feelings to her. Here's some suggested answers from that little lady.

a) I love you too! I have been waiting for you to say that!! *hugs & kisses*
b) Um.. I only love you like a brother.. sorry~
c) HAHAHAAHHAAZ!! Are you serious? Come on dude!!

Obviously answer A is just a dream. B is the worst fear a guy/girl could have. C is just plain hurtful. Answer B is one of the worst case scenarios you could be in after confession takes place. The awkwardness both parties feel, the silence between both individuals & the eventual parting of ways from friends to acquaintance. That's what i fear the most. A loss of a good friend.

Speaking of friends, the girl i like is good friend of mine. We laugh at each others' jokes, made fun of each other when unglam moments pop up, pull each other up when brought down. So where's the problem? You see, she sends out different signals every time!! First she could be saying i like you, the next minute she could be pushing you away. Why, GOD, why is this so hard!!! I can officially proclaim that this is harder than Principle Of Accounts!! Period!!

Naturally, i chatted with a 'guru' who is an expert in this area. I poured out my problem to him & he stroked his imaginary long, flowing beard and said i was just finding excuses to avoid confrontation. Love is all about being scared & taking risks. If all else fails, then just proceed to the next girl. -.-'' I forgotten i was talking to a man who changes girlfriends on a regular basis.

I need to clear some things up first. I'm actually an alright-looking guy. Sure i have a skinny body, no muscles to flaunt, hangs around with much more good-looking people than me, a face scarred by acne, kinda hairy(in the right places), an okay butt, almost always don't look good in pictures and many more i conveniently forgot. So what, all i know about myself is that i'm a self-proclaimed gentleman. Any takers?

And for once, why can't the ladies make the first move? I ask you this and you say it's the way it should be : Ladies wait for the men to make first move. And then when i ask you why you are wearing men's clothes you call me a chauvinist. Sad world we live in.

Oh oh i am so pissed at the fact that ugly, nerdy guys have hot, gorgeous girlfriends and I DON"T!! What do they have that i don't? Is their intellect and dominance on the academic studies so alluring? Their faces covered with pimples that their pimples could burst out any minute! My friend said that it was because an ugly guy would not be unfaithful. I can be FAiTHFUL!! I am seriously Furious at this fact, also sad that they can get one before me. Life's seriously unfair.

Maybe i should just erect out a tombstone for my ability to love. 'Death By Decay' it would read, because of the fact that i could not express my feelings freely. *Sigh*

P.S. Happy Birthday to Keith, Valentina and Siwei!! Even though you will not be reading this. ;D Ciao~

Back to School '09

Hey went back to school on Monday for Teacher's Day!! Only once every 365 days do we officially appreciate the teacher's pain & sufferings they experienced after years of trying to screw things into our thick head of ours. Meeting your classmates the first time in what seemed forever kinda made me sentimental. Even the march through the school's front gate reminds me of our secondary school days. Ah the good old days.

Since my batch has already graduated end of last year, it was a hassle getting into the school. Stupid new principal. Anyways, we had to wait at the front gate under the blistering sun(it was 12pm by the way) for what seem like half an hour before our teacher came to escort the whole gang in. You see, new rules implies that a teacher has to escort us into the school compounds. In any case, no teacher, no entry. We were just in time to catch the middle of the teacher's day concert. Saw the new principal (bleah) giving a speech but didn't care less. Ding-Dong~ Ding-Dong~ The school bell!! Hearing it again really takes me back. Nice.. Looked around the hall and saw couple of my teachers slimmed down, some growing horizontally instead of vertically and two of the teachers i knew are pregnant! Woo.. One's having a baby boy(not sure when it's due to be bring into this world though)!! Way to go, Mr Koh. ;D

Saw Couple of performances but nothing worth writing about. The modern dance was kinda terrible, lacking the sexiness the guys & i always looked out for whenever they performed on stage. Not much expectations as they are the new blood. Now i remember one performance which stood out from the rest and garnered the most applause. It was when the teachers dressed up in school uniform rocking out as a band!! From where i stood, which was kinda far from the stage, you wouldn't know they were our teachers. They sang the rock-out version of the School Song!! After that rendition, They even mashed up songs like Sweet Child Of Mine(One of my top favs), You belong With Me and a bunch of songs i couldn't remember & finishing with I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Cool idea man..

Went to chat with a couple of the teachers, even challenge a few of my friends to call their teachers by their first names.(no one dared, of course) Hahaz.. For a while we got kinda bored so we left the school. The whole split into three : Some went home, some went to Tampines to slack, the others left without saying goodbye(hmmm..). i went with the group that went to Tampines.

Turned out me & my friend, who is a Tamil, weren't Muslims & the rest are. So we fast with them until 7.12pm. Confession time!! I didn't actually fast because i ate before i went with them so me fasting doesn't really count on that day. Anyways, we slacked at the balcony of Tampines Mall. With nothing to do, I got on the 'thing that goes round & round until you puke you brains out' ride. Got on, Friend spun me round & round, got off, my stomach's never been the same ever since. If you haven't rode this ride before, i urge you to try it. Why, you ask. Because when you are in a twisted ride like this & someone's spinning you non-stop, You can feel your grip at the handles slipping away & could be flung out of that death-trap at break-neck speed. I kid you not. On second thoughts, don't try it. Because i might have your death in my conscience if you did.

Decided to eat at Pizza Hut for our dinner. You see, we went in early to beat the queue, but we had to wait like, 45 minutes before we could eat beacuse of the fasting. We also ordered our food early thinking that they would serve our order very late. We were wrong. So we sat there trying as hard as possible not to stare at the food that's placed before us. As you can see in your left, it was pure torture. Ding-ding!! It's finally time to break fast!! Ah!! utter bliss burst into my mind & stomach as i chomp down my pizza & lasagna. Feelings i had after i got on the Devil's Seat was long forgotten.

After feeling our bellies with sinful delicacies, we head to T1 to slack at the balcony & let our tummies settle down. But then my friend called asking me where i was & i almost forgot i made plans to play soccer with them! So i rushed there & found that very shagged apparently from all the running. Not much to say but i pretty much sucked that night. My shooting was straight into the keeper's hands & my passing wasn't that accurate.Really feel like blaming the food but it wasn't. Oh well, next time i will be better. But i assure you that i'm an exceptional soccer player. That night just wasn't my night.

Overall, it was a great day. Met with my classmates, had a chat with a couple of my teachers and had a rare dinner with the gang !! Grateful to have this once-daily moment once again.*Smiles*