Girls.. A problem since the Dawn of Time

Hmmm.. Finally i can update my blog!! Hehz.. But strangely i find myself staring at the screen thinking of what i should blog on despite such an eventful week. Let me see, i celebrated Keith's Birthday at his house on Friday(Good Donuts!!), had a great service on Saturday, danced on stage in church (Good times), went on a Rock Band Unplugged Marathon in my house for God knows how long on Monday(Good game but eyes hurt though) and finally, celebration of Siwei's 16th year on this lovely Earth(Luo Zhi Xiang!!). Blogging about happy occasions? Not today dude. I wanna blog about the female species & the feelings attached. RANDOM!!

Being with the one you love gives you that kind of feeling that you just wanna scream to everyone that she's likes you! That innocent shyness when it starts out and escalates to something much more than just accidental brushing of the shoulders. Just grinning at the fact that you have someone(not something) to hold on to. But whoever said it's better to love and lost than to never have loved at all never felt pain before. Or he just been plain lucky his first was The One.

To love is one thing. To be loved back is another. It's a team effort.(DUH!!) I'm in a situation which millions have been in, which is sitting at one corner gazing at the girl you like but going crazy on whether she likes you back. I just hate the fact that i don't know if she has the same feeling you do. That awkwardness you get when alone with each other. The endless digging of topics you wanna chat about with her just not to let her think i'm a boring person. Or whether it's the right thing to do if you confess your feelings to her. Here's some suggested answers from that little lady.

a) I love you too! I have been waiting for you to say that!! *hugs & kisses*
b) Um.. I only love you like a brother.. sorry~
c) HAHAHAAHHAAZ!! Are you serious? Come on dude!!

Obviously answer A is just a dream. B is the worst fear a guy/girl could have. C is just plain hurtful. Answer B is one of the worst case scenarios you could be in after confession takes place. The awkwardness both parties feel, the silence between both individuals & the eventual parting of ways from friends to acquaintance. That's what i fear the most. A loss of a good friend.

Speaking of friends, the girl i like is good friend of mine. We laugh at each others' jokes, made fun of each other when unglam moments pop up, pull each other up when brought down. So where's the problem? You see, she sends out different signals every time!! First she could be saying i like you, the next minute she could be pushing you away. Why, GOD, why is this so hard!!! I can officially proclaim that this is harder than Principle Of Accounts!! Period!!

Naturally, i chatted with a 'guru' who is an expert in this area. I poured out my problem to him & he stroked his imaginary long, flowing beard and said i was just finding excuses to avoid confrontation. Love is all about being scared & taking risks. If all else fails, then just proceed to the next girl. -.-'' I forgotten i was talking to a man who changes girlfriends on a regular basis.

I need to clear some things up first. I'm actually an alright-looking guy. Sure i have a skinny body, no muscles to flaunt, hangs around with much more good-looking people than me, a face scarred by acne, kinda hairy(in the right places), an okay butt, almost always don't look good in pictures and many more i conveniently forgot. So what, all i know about myself is that i'm a self-proclaimed gentleman. Any takers?

And for once, why can't the ladies make the first move? I ask you this and you say it's the way it should be : Ladies wait for the men to make first move. And then when i ask you why you are wearing men's clothes you call me a chauvinist. Sad world we live in.

Oh oh i am so pissed at the fact that ugly, nerdy guys have hot, gorgeous girlfriends and I DON"T!! What do they have that i don't? Is their intellect and dominance on the academic studies so alluring? Their faces covered with pimples that their pimples could burst out any minute! My friend said that it was because an ugly guy would not be unfaithful. I can be FAiTHFUL!! I am seriously Furious at this fact, also sad that they can get one before me. Life's seriously unfair.

Maybe i should just erect out a tombstone for my ability to love. 'Death By Decay' it would read, because of the fact that i could not express my feelings freely. *Sigh*

P.S. Happy Birthday to Keith, Valentina and Siwei!! Even though you will not be reading this. ;D Ciao~